I Remember Standing Alone

For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD,
And He ponders all his paths. Proverbs 5:21

by Chuck Ness

Many times in my life I have been standing alone.

Like in the picture above, I remember standing alone at the edge of the Grand Canyon when I was hitchhiking through Arizona. Wondering which way I would travel.

I remember standing alone, looking down at the grave of a dear sweet girl who had my heart when I was but 16, in Duluth MN. Would she still be alive if I had not gotten off the bus a block early? I also remember wondering, if she then would be looking down at my grave.

I remember standing alone inside the tent that housed the game where I was a carnival barker for the Thomas shows, after the Carnival closed down for the night in Oklahoma City. It was my first time on acid and I was all alone, wondering why the sides of the tent were moving in on me.

I remember standing alone as I looked down from the cliffs above the Mediterranean Sea not too far from Marseille France many, many years ago, wondering if I would ever again go home.

I remember standing alone as I looked out through the fence of a prison, contemplating my future which at the time looked so bleak. Wondering why I was so stupid.

I remember standing alone on the wrong side of a railing as I looked down at the traffic on the freeway in Fort Worth TX. Wondering what I had to live for.

I remember standing alone on the sand bar of Padre Island, in Corpus Christi Texas, looking out at the Gulf. Wondering why God took my son away.

I remember standing alone as I listened to the night owls hoot while I gazed out across Lava Lake above the Gallatin Canyon in MT, on Halloween night many, many years ago. Wondering if that noise I heard was a bear or a raccoon.

I remember standing alone at the top of Lone Mountain at Big Sky Ski Resort, looking down at all the tiny people, just before I headed into the infamous Bowl. Wondering what I've gotten myself into this time.

I remember standing alone on top of a car screaming, with fear in my heart that she was dead, near Norris Hot Springs MT. Wondering if I was going to watch another girl I loved be burried.

I remember standing alone when I dropped to my knees and asked Christ into my heart, in Columbus GA. The adrenaline I felt reminded me af all those times I thought I was oh so alone.

That day, I finally realized that I was never alone. He had always been with me, holding me, and giving me strength as He nudged me forward to take the next step, because He knew the day would come when I would ask Him into my heart.

Today I'm never alone anymore, because even when it seems like I am, I know that YOU are always with me. Encouraging me, comforting me, and leading me in the direction YOU had long ago planned for me to take.

My days were numbered before YOU created the heavens and the earth. My end is set in stone, and my salvation is soaked in YOUR blood. When YOU bring me home, I pray I will have finished the tasks YOU has set before me, so that I can hear YOU say, welcome home good and faithful servant. Lord Jesus come quickly, Amen