by One Vike
Date rape has been in our lexicon for a few decades now, fact is a majority of people have become quite familiar with the lines that separate consensual and non consensual sex. However, our present attitude about rape was not always the same as it is today. There has always been warnings to girls that they should not allow themselves to be in certain situations that could lead to unwanted advances from boys. There has been many a woman who has claimed they were raped while the only defense the man had was the girl allowed things to progress past a point of no return for him.
I remember when I was but 12 years old, and I would accompany my older sister and her friend to the beach. My sisters always wore a one piece, but her friend would always wear this practically see-through white bikini just to lie down on a towel to sunbath. I must admit that I paid close attention to her as she laid there on her towel. After all, I was but six removed from being a full fledged teenager, and my hormones were already beginning to cause problems in my life. It was the late “60”s and I was well aware of the sentiment that we should love the one we were with if we could not be with the one we loved. Then again, I also remember the same girl telling my sister that a boy she was making out with on the beach raped her one day.
My sister convinced her to report it to the police and after some investigation they decided that there was no way they would be able to get a conviction because of the way the girl carried on with the boy on the beach. Now, today the results of the investigation would be much different as we now have the understanding that “no” means “no”, regardless of when during the encounter a girl uses that word. It is true though, that regardless of which side of the argument you agree with, someone will inevitably have a strongly felt conviction of why you are wrong. Personally I believe that everyone involved needs to take responsibility for how they conduct themselves. I also believe that such an accusation or charge can always be avoided if everyone obeyed God's precepts that only couples who are married should be having sex. So in my opinion, obeying this simple command could basically stop 99% of all date rapes.
That being said, I always thought that a majority of people in Western world societies have pretty much felt the same way for at least the last twenty years. That is until I came across this survey about the attitudes of English men and women when it comes to rape. This BBC News survey was conducted from more than 1,000 people. In the survey they found out that 71% of women thought a person should accept responsibility when getting into bed with someone, compared with 57% of men. The survey also found out that more than half of the male and female respondents think that there are some circumstances when a rape victim should accept responsibility for an attack. Thus the claim of date rape, at least in england, does not carry as much weight as it does in America. I am curious as to what the readers of Post Scripts would have to say about the idea that women should take more responsibility if they are attacked and raped by a boyfriend during a date.
As for me, I stated that all sex should be saved for marriage, but I fully understand that we live in a world where people do not obey God's commandments of abstaining from sex until marriage. As a Christian I live by the rule that I should "abstain from all appearance of evil", and by adhering to this rule I have never left myself in a position to be accused of something I could not justifiably defend myself against. That being said, we do live in a society that does catered to the base desires of humans. Now if I were living a life of sin and immorality, and I found myself in a compromising situation then I would first and for most agree that when a woman says “no”, that means “no”. After that point, the guy is guilty of rape if he ignores her pleas, and thus would be responsible for his own actions. However, there should also be a warning to women that they should not be acting in a way that could be misconstrued by the guy she is with on a date. This doesn’t excuse the guy’s actions, but it should be a warning to women to be cautious and sensible.