Smoldering Ruins Of Your Past

(Ruins Of Paradise California After devestating Fire)

by Chuck Ness

Knowledge puffs us up, but love edifies. Some, like myself have at times, come off like we are so puffed up with our knowledge of HIS word that we become arrogant towards the lost. To the lost, we become nothing more than a clanging bell that drives the lost farther from Christ, not nearer to THEE.

Sometimes I get so angry that I lose track of the mission I have been baptized to do. Lately, my heart has become so withered with hurt and anger towards those who wish me and mine harm, that I have nothing but hate packed in my arsenal for battle.

The love of Christ has not only taken a back seat, but sadly, I have left his love completely out of my message. At home in my Bible sits the love, while my puffed up knowledge and anger is all that I carry for those who are lost to see and hear. A knowledge that without love has driven the lost even farther from Christ than they were before I shared my gospel of anger.

I share this message, because I now see what has brought me to this spiritual moment in my life. A moment where I am at a crossroad. One that GOD has told me to change or else. I thought I was doing fine, but instead I have been fooling myself.

I will also admit that there are some of you whom Christ HIMSELF has deployed to try and reach me. Well, HE has finally reached me, by using a similar tragedy that set me on this coarse that has brought me to this crossroad.

It's the images I see on television that brings back sad memories of the tragedy that engulfed those who lived just a few miles from me in and around the town of Paradise Ca. Now, as I watch the fires in California rage out of control while destroying small communities like Paradise, my eyes well up with tears as my heart melts from the fervent heat of sadness and anger again.

Those fires raging in California now engulf me way over here almost 1000 miles from where I used to live in Chico Ca. I escaped the place, but the smoke engulfs me to the point that the Sun and the Moon are red in the sky.

The images of what I see on television brings back sad memories of the tragedy which engulfed hundreds of my friends who lived in Paradise. Well, along with those memories I have been forced me to my knees as I pray for forgiveness. Yes, while I suffered no material loss due to the tragedy, I did lose a bit of my faith in GOD.

See the anger I had over that which I saw engulfed my heart so much that it became a fire in and of itself in my heart. An anger that burned so deep down inside that without realizing it, I actually blamed God. This anger I hid caused me to lash out at others, in a way that I became cold and heartless towards those who were lost. Not those who lost everything in the fires, but those who are lost in Christ. Those we are commissioned to preach the Gospel to. Many of which are my own relatives and friends.

Well I now realize my change of character and the anger I felt, over the senseless destruction is what has made me angry at GOD Himslef. How could GOD allow so many to be in such pain and suffering over things they had no control over. While I told myself that sin has entered the World, and thus calamities will happen, I still wanted GOD to strike down those responsible.

Instead of using the tools GOD provided me, I used the tools of my flesh. I began striking out at those who supported those who allowed the tragedy to happen, I became almost 100% political in my attacks. I left GOD in my library and set out on a crusade to hate anyone who disagreed with me, instead of trying to reach them with HIS word, I repelled them with my politics while using GOD's Word as a cover.

I am reminded of Jonah, who hated the Ninevites so much that he ran away from that which GOD had ordered him to do. He was so angry about that which GOD wanted him to do that he ran away from his responsibility. His hate for the Ninevites clouded his judgement, and it almost cost him his very life.

I too have been running from GOD. HE commissioned me to do something and I allowed my anger and hate to force me on the run from my responsibility, No more, I will run no more, Instead I will turn back to my first love, and allow HIM to heal me so the anger will be replaced by HIS love. He died for me long before I was born and became a sinner, so now I too must allow HIS love to shine from me onto those who hate me for HIS namesake.

If you, like me, feel your anger is stoping you from reaching out to those HE desires for us to reach, then do as I am. Ask HIM to forgive you, and push aside the hate. Instead, pick up that cross you left laying behind you in the dirt. Chances are you will find it in the ruins of a long lost tragedy near the smoldering ruins of your past.

Together we can reach those who are silently looking for the ONE they have yet to meet. The creator of their soul.