Hershee, The Greatest Dog In The World

by Chuck Ness

You are greatly missed Hershee.

12/18/1995 – 12/27/2014

Our precious dog made it to her 18th birthday, and her 19th Christmas, nut then in the early hours of Friday December 27 we had to take her on that one way journey to the rainbow bridge. I tried to sit down and write a post about her, but I was never able to get past the first paragraph. Every time I did my eyes begin to well up, and my would freeze above the keyboard as I thought of what to write. Next thing I know, I’m closing the lid on my laptop without even turn it off. And I thought my wife would have the most difficult time of letting go of her life.

It was early October when I posted a plea for some friends at FreeRepublic to pray for me to have the strength to do what I knew would soon be inevitable. I told them that I could do it, but that it would be difficult for my wife to agree it was time if she didn’t take that trip to Rainbow bridge on her own.

She made it to Thanksgiving, and when we were at my wife’s Mom and Dad’s house for dinner, everyone told us she wasn’t doing to well. Even her brother’s miniature schnauzer, Badger, gave Hershee her space for the first time since he was a pup 6 years ago. My wife and I told everyone she is actually doing good, but that she was having a bad day. By this time we had to physically take her outside every few hours to let her go to the bathroom because her mind had already gotten to the point where she forgot she needed to go outside.

Well, we were having the family over to our home for Christmas so the Month of December was real hectic. On top of that her brother Sean who runs the drills for Fracking was spending the whole Month with us. He works the ND fields and he hasn’t had time off in almost two years. As the time got close to her birthday she was less able to get up on her own. She could walk but not get off the floor on her own. On her 18th birthday she could only eat half the Rib Eye steak I BBQ, but the next day she ate the rest, so her appetite was still good.

By then we had to set the alarm at night to take her out side every two hours to potty or she would wet herself, because she was losing control of her bladder. She was still playful though. I would grab a toy and she would bite it while pulling it away from me or put her paw on my hand and let out a “rough” just loud enough to make me feel she still wanted to live. We were taking turns at night so we could get rest. By Christmas eve we were used to being up all night practically.

Her hip was causing enough pain that we had increased her pain medication to help her get comfortable. On Christmas day, Hershee seemed to be was in great spirits. After helping her up through out the day, she would wonder around a bit to say hi to everyone, but still laid down most the day until. That night we took her out a few times, but she wasn’t peeing as much. She took a healthy dump though and it made us feel better, thinking all her water was used up for her to go poop.

My wife and I were wrecked from the Month of getting everything ready for Christmas. Her Mom offered to host Christmas at her house, but the reason we did it was because her arthritis was real bad and her father just got out of the hospital. He had emergency surgery to remove his gall bladder. We knew she could not do it. So we sucked it up and took it on anyway. Well, after everyone left Christmas night, I told my wife to hit the sack and I would watch Hershee and clean up what was left.

It had been a long two Months since Hershee started going down hill. The last one had taken our patience to the breaking point. I was always tired. At work I was making mistakes on the kits I was making for our sub assembly vendor who stuffed our boards. I was even missing errors on the pc boards I needed to test.

I almost didn’t put lights up outside, but because the family was coming to our house I had to, I didn’t care about putting the tree up, but it had to be done. Decorating the house inside took longer than it had ever had before. Cooking the turkey and all the fixings was a chore I dreaded. Buying Christmas gifts was another thing I could barely do and even felt guilty for spending the money.

I remember laying on the couch one night in tears, because for the first time since my wife ended up in the wheelchair I was angry that God put her there, because she could only help so much. My back spasms acted up and my pinched nerve were making my fingers go numb again because of all the climbing around the house I needed to do to put up the lights. Through it all, I actually grew closer to Hershee than ever before. Through her eyes, I saw God, and always felt instantly better with my energy returning, and my aches and pains vanished.

Well, for the next three hours Hershee slept and I straightened out the kitchen and living room. It was about 1:00 when I heard her rustling on the blue pads we kept under her. I took her outside and she went pee with no problem. We went back into the house and she walked into the kitchen as if she was looking for some food.

I tore some dark meat, her favorite of the bird that was wrapped in tinfoil and she scarfed it up. She drank some water and I gave grabbed the peanut butter and gave her some pain medication, and she went into the living room and laid down. I picked her up and put her on the blue pad next to the Christmas tree by the sliding door and cracked it open just enough for her to get some fresh air, because the wood stove had made it too warm for her.

I finally crashed on the couch where I could keep an eye on her and set the alarm for 4:00 am. When I got up at 4, I checked her and she was dry, but I rook her out anyway. I could not get her to go pee though. usually I could get her walking just enough to get her bladder going, but nothing would help. I figured the turkey sucked it all up and she just didn’t need to go. It was now about 5 in the morning, so I set the alarm for 6:00 am and laid back down on the couch.

After waking up with the alarm at 6, I took her out and again she would not go. I wasn’t worried yet because she would skip going pee sometimes. By the time we finished walking around outside, my wife was awake. I got her a cup of coffee and she told me to go to bed. I was so tired I couldn’t sleep. I went into the bedroom and left her to my wife to care for.

I slept for about 7 hours and when I woke up, my wife said she still had not gone pee. By now I told Sharee that her kidneys were shutting down, and she would not make it another day. It was Thursday evening now and the vet was closed, we could have taken her to an after hours emergency care vet, but we decided to wait until the next day when we could take her to our vet who knew her.

All evening Hershee could not get comfortable, we upped her pain medication to make her comfortable and help her rest, but it wasn’t working. She just couldn’t get comfortable. My wife went to bed at 11 and I stayed up doing what I could to make her comfortable. She would rest for maybe 15 minutes and then wine and try to move and get up. I would help her up and she would just fall back onto her heels and then onto the floor. She would overheat so I would lay on the floor with the slider open and a blanket on me as I laid next to her. Then she would get cold and I would close the window and cover her up. Then she would try to get up. This went on for 3 hours.

That is when she began quietly wine as if she were crying. I looked at her and I knew she wanted to leave, but she could not go on her own. She needed help and her eyes told me that. I finally woke my wife up at 3:30 am and told her we had to take Hershee to the all night emergency vet. She was still half asleep and told me I was just tired and she would get up for awhile. I told her she didn’t understand because Hershee was in big pain and the medication wasn’t working. She raised her voice and I raised mine back at her. Then from the other room we heard the loudest saddest howl and RUFF we ever heard.

Herhsee was telling us to stop arguing to do for her what we must. We shut up. My wife got in her chair and put her robe on and we got things together. We brought her blanket and went to the Van. After my wife got in I laid her down on the floor next to her and took her on that one way ride to the vet.

When we got there they said they could not come out because it was after hours. It was now 4 am. I asked if she wanted to come in but my wife declined. later she would wish, and is still sorry she didn’t come in. I took her to a back room inside, and they hooked her up to an intravenous to feed her some pain medication to make her relax. Then as I stroked her head and rubbed her ears the vet slowly pushed the drug into the intravenous line. As I looked into her eyes, the vet kept the stethoscope on her heart to let me know when she had left. I didn’t need to be told, I knew when she went. I don’t remember the vet leaving the room, I just remember realizing we were alone in the room.

I wanted to take it back, but I couldn’t. It was too late, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Then the vet broke the silence when she came back into the room. She had a small white box to put her in. They put an old blanket under her and then a lid on top. I took her out to the van and sat her on the floor next to my wife. She took the lid off, and we sat in the van for over a half an hour before we could leave.

Hershee was gone, but in a better place now. We buried her next to the house, and I put a flower garden over her. the lilies and all are just now beginning to break out from the dirt. Slowly her hair was disappearing from the house, cars, and our clothing, but it will never all be completely gone.

The fire tree seeds are rattling in their shells. Every year when they rattled, Hershee would get spooked and lower her head as she looked up at the tree unable to wrap her brain around why it was doing that. I still keep her extra leash in my truck, and my wife reminded me that I promised to sell the walking wheels we bought for her.

I think it is so hard on me because when I was 25, I refused to take the family dog, Prancer down when she was 17. She was deaf by then, she was blind, and my Mom asked if I would, I couldn’t do it. She was my boyhood dog as I grew up, and as a young man of 25, I could not do it. So my sisters husband took her down.

Prancer used to walk with me every morning on my paper route when i was 12 and 13. I delivered the morning paper 7 days a week, and she was with me everyday. If I woke up late, she protected the papers where the truck dropped them off. After I sold the route to another kid, she kept doing the rounds for over a year, because of all the treats she got. The new kid thought it was so cool that a dog came with the route.

I think it hurts so bad because I refused to do what I should have done with Prancer. Well, Hershee finally walked over that Rainbow Bridge, and I could swear she turned around and winked at me as she vanished into the distance.

It took me awhile to write this, but it hurt too much to collect my thoughts about how I would word it. Funny thing is, now that I have, the words just fell off my finger tips. My wife and I have no children together, so letting go of Hershee is like letting go of an only child. Oh I have children and grandchildren, but not with Sharee, so Hershee was the only one in our home with us for 18 years. It’s like we buried a child who never went off to college, she just had one of those aging diseases, and grew old before her time.

We buried her at the side of the back patio, and I built a flower garden we affectionately call Hershee’s Garden. I even find myself talking to her from time to time when I walk past it. I’m not under any illusion that I will ever meet her again, but the memories of her will be with us for the rest of our life.